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- Step 1. Find the Trigger so that your co-worker can play it back to you
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What do you want to achieve?
To overcome a negative thought about yourself.
• What negative thought do you want to tackle?
• Make a trigger sentence out of it that starts with "You must / You are ..."
• Test the trigger by having your co-worker say it to you.
• If you find yourself reacting strongly to the trigger, proceed to the next step. Welke negatieve gedachte wil je aanpakken?You should tell your co-worker each time when to replay the trigger.To respond more effectively to someone's troublesome behaviour
• Describe that difficult behaviour as literally as possible
and especially what you find so difficult about it.
• Ask your co-worker to replay that trigger behaviour or sentence to you.
• If you find yourself reacting strongly to the trigger, proceed to the next step. - Step 2. Throw everything out
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Options to respond to the trigger by:
• making non-verbal sounds and movements
• saying whatever you have to say.• behaving like a playful, provocative child.
- Step 3. Go deeper: Where does the trigger resonate in your body?
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- Describe literally this sensation, the "Felt Sense".
- Does this "Felt Sense" remind you of a situation in your past? If so, make a “picture’ of it, so that you can process your memory of the situation later.
- What does this "Felt Sense" evoke?
• sounds and / or movements,
• words or song? - Describe literally this sensation, the "Felt Sense".
- Step 4. Feed your brain with possible new responses
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1. Try new responses when the co-worker replays the trigger to you.
2. What can you learn from your co-worker?
a. Turn the roles around: you replay the trigger; your co-worker responds.
b. Turn the roles again:
try to respond to the trigger as your co-worker did.3. List your options while counting them on your fingers.
Supports developing pathways in your brain. - Step 5. What after this session?
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Imagine a few following small steps.
For instance:
• To whom can I talk about this?
• Where can I find more information? - Step 6. Dis-identify your co-worker from the trigger role
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• How is your co-worker different from playing the trigger role?
• Check with your co-worker whether s/he feels sufficiently dis-identified.